Tuesday, September 21, 2010

If I Stare Long Enough...

Photography by BLMurch

I hate waiting on submissions. Doesn't matter if its submissions to agents or submissions to publishers, it results in the same roiling stomach and bouncy leg. Hitting refresh on my email apparently isn't somehow magically prompting the receivers of my proposal to answer.

Distraction like this only makes it harder to concentrate on writing. Especially if things aren't flowing as easily as I'd like. I just have to turn my back on the whole thing and forcefully forget what proposals are pending...its difficult, but I have wonderful powers of denial.

As a Christian, I believe that I've put my life in the hands of God, fully aware that He will do with it as He wants. Its a conscious choice on my part...a constant re-choosing. I'm type A, and we control freaks like to worry and obsess and be all frustrated. It’s hard to let the reigns go…its hard to trust.

It is my heart's desire to be a published author. I pratice, read books, work hard...and wait...

There is no guarantee for any of us that it will happen, but I feel called to write. Like it’s a part of my DNA. There has to be a reason that I am so compelled to sit for hours in front of a computer and struggle over the story I'm telling...right?

I don't have some earth-shattering message that will sell thousands of tickets to my speaking engagements.

I write fiction. Stories with people in it that aren't perfect.  They are like you and me.

They are tempermental, afraid, or generally happy and don't want to make waves. They have painful pasts or boring ones that make them feel insignificant. They have no special powers or talents.  They are everyday guys and gals that face what life throws at them and still somehow manage to do the right thing. The difficult thing.

They are who I was once, am now, or aspire one day to become.

I write because I can't help it nor do I want to. It’s tough to keep that in mind when faced with the gauntlet of roadblocks towards publication. Something that truly helps is hearing about everyone’s victories and steps forward. Because then it seems more within my realm of possible.

And I know that despite everything...I'll continue to tell stories and explore motives, and learn through my characters.

So as I turn my back on the worries of the business aspect of writing and settle in to the pleasure that the blessing of words brings to me...I ask all of you this:

How do you get through the tough times? How do you keep the waiting from driving you nuts?

Until next time...Go Write!