Tuesday, August 31, 2010

A Streak of Beige Uniform and Pasty Skin - A Fight Blogfest

Photograph by darkpatator
The Fighter Writer has thrown down the gauntlet with her Fight, Fight, Fight! Blogfest.  Its in celebration of her month anniversary of blogging. Woo Hoo! Congrats, J.C. way to go!!

I decided to enter an excerpt from my recently completed novel, Ruby Dawn.

Imagine the love of your life disappears after a tragic accident. What if he bursts into your life ten years later bringing with him a dangerous secret from your past...

This is a flashback of the day Tom defended Ruby against Griffin, the boy who attacked her during her stay at a juvenile detention center.

Ruby Dawn
Dresden Heights Detention Center – Ten Years Ago

The teacher, old Mrs. Hardwick, stopped mid-sentence when everyone’s head whipped left to the open windows on the side of the Biology class.

“Griffin!” Tom’s angry scream ripped through me. I scrambled out of my desk and ran to see outside.

My movement spurned the rest of the class, and everyone rushed the windows. They jostled and pushed around me while I struggled to see down into the grassy field. Someone knocked off the purple bandana wrapped around my ruined hair.

Panic shot through me as I watched Tom run toward Griffin, his fist cocked back. I banged on the window. “Tom, no!”

Too late, Griffin spun, meeting Tom with a tackle. They flew sideways onto the grass, twisting and hitting each other in a vicious, squirming knot.

The students around me shouted and hollered in unison. “Fight, fight, fight!”

I turned on my heels and ran for the door of the classroom, but Mrs. Hardwick blocked my path. Her arms across the door, she shook her head, face flushed.

“Stay here, Ruby,” she said and yelped a little when I ducked under her arms and ran out of the room.

I raced down the hall, terrified for Tom. Griffin, a foot taller and twenty pounds heavier, wouldn’t stop hitting until someone pulled him off of Tom. I’d seen him pummel a boy last month over a brownie. The kid transferred to a medical facility to recover. More shouting from outside hit me as I pushed through the swinging doors. A crowd of kids encircled Tom and Griffin, chanting Tom’s name over and over again.

Confused, I writhed in between two yelling girls.

Tom bobbed around the inside of the circle, his arms up like a boxer. He pulled Griffin around with him like they were magnetized. The bigger boy swung and missed as Tom ducked and came up with an uppercut to Griffin’s chin, then bounced out of reach again. Griffin’s pulled his mouth into a bloody grimace and swung. He missed again.

“Is this why you pick on girls, Griffin?” Tom shouted.

He reached out and slapped Griffin on the cheek, the loud smack resounding through the throng of onlookers. The students, some still chanting Tom’s name, started laughing and pointing. Griffin’s eyes slid over them, his face growing crimson. He swung at Tom again, and missed again.

Tom, a smile on his face, locked eyes with me and his face fell. His eyes wandered to my exposed hair and I brought my hands up, embarrassed. Distracted, he didn’t move in time to dodge Griffin. A crushing blow threw Tom down onto the grass. He scrambled to his feet, anger flashing across his features. His fist sprang back, ready to punch, no longer playing. Blood trickled down from a gash near his eye, my stomach lurched.

“Stop this,” I screamed. “Just stop!”

Griffin, panting and sweating, grabbed at Tom’s shirt. Tom twisted, ramming an elbow into Griffin’s face as he yanked away. Griffin stumbled to his knees, the crowd of kids screamed louder, shouting for Tom to kick him.

Tom looked down at Griffin, wiped the blood from his eyes, and looked at his hand. He seemed surprised to see that he was bleeding.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Beau dive into the crowd. The enormous security guard batted the teenagers aside like they were nothing, his eyes on Tom.

“Watch out,” I shouted, but I was too late.

Beau launched himself at Tom, taking him to the grass in a beige streak of uniform and pasty skin. The crowd scattered, including Griffin. I stood on the field, my stomach twisting as Beau flipped Tom onto his stomach and pulled his arms back, cuffing him with plastic ties. Another guard chased after Griffin.

“Is this about you?” Beau growled at me.

I shook my head and wrung my hands together, unable to speak through the lump in my throat.

“Leave her alone,” Tom grunted. His face half obscured by the soft dirt and tattered grass. “Look at her hair. Griffin did that!”

Self conscious of the stares swinging my way, I smoothed the bandana back down over my forehead. My fingers brushed my scar and my face burned red.

“She couldn’t prove it,” Beau shot back and pulled Tom to his feet. “You have no right to take this into your own hands, boy.”

“Oh yeah, who else woulda done something about it?” Tom shouted back, his pale eyes furious. “Who cares what happens to the throw-aways, right?”

I stood frozen in the grass, cold despite the sun beating down on me. I watched Beau lead Tom away, my heart squeezing with fear. Tom’s attack on Griffin would only make things worse. I knew in my bones that this wasn’t over.

That's it for my entry. I hope you enjoyed it. There are a lot of other exciting entries over at  The Fighter Writer.  I encourage you to take a peek.

Until next time...Go Write.


Elena Solodow said...

The title of this is my favorite line in the sequence. Very well done. What happened to her hair!? I'm very curious now - will have to snoop around.

Nice entry.

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Like Elena, I want to know what happened to her hair.

You did a great job of handling multiple characters in a flurry of movement and violence -- not an easy thing to do. Bravo. Roland

Mesmerix said...

As always Raquel, very well written. The action is clear, the characters are easily pictured with only limited description on your part. Very skillful. I'm intrigued by the hair, I want to know the backstory and the future!

Watch the overuse of "again" and also the possessive of "Griffin's" was typo'd once.

Minor stuff. Your writing is solid, a real pleasure to read.

Scribbler to Scribe

Summer Ross said...

Oh brilliant piece! I read through it easily and it kept me entertained. I am now curious as to what happens. thanks for posting! My favorite line:"They flew sideways onto the grass, twisting and hitting each other in a vicious, squirming knot."

Cheryl Linn Martin said...

Thanks for the little peek, Raquel!

Great action, and curiosity is stimulated around her hair. Hmm . . . what's that all about?

J.C. Martin @ Fighter Writer said...

An honest-to-goodness classic playground fight! I loved it! Good work! I especially loved the title and how it was used in the context of the entry!

Thanks for participating! I enjoyed reading this!

roh morgon said...

Sorry I'm so late commenting on this...

Great fight scene. I had no trouble visualizing this schoolyard brawl. I agree w/ Summer - my favorite line is: "They flew sideways onto the grass, twisting and hitting each other in a vicious, squirming knot."

Nice job - I enjoyed reading this!