Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Tumbling Over The Edge...

I think the scenes most difficult for me to write are ones that genuinely scare me in real life.  I was in a terrible car accident as a teenager, I spent time in the hospital with a head injury, and I truly hate high winding roads because of it. 

The book I wrote last year, Purple Knot, has a scene where the MC and her love interest are run off the road by the killer they are tracking. So when Mary McDonald decided to host the Terror Tuesday Blogfest...I knew what I wanted to use as an entry.  My hands still get sweaty when I think about the noise metal makes when it's ripping apart.

Rain and Jimmy are on their way back down the mountain.  This excerpt appears at the end of the chapter. If this scene appears to abruptly begin and end, its because I had to edit out most of the chapter to make the scene short enough for a blog entry.  Hope you like it.



Purple Knot

“Uh, Jimmy, he’s going kind of fast. He sees us, right?”

“How could he not?” Jimmy muttered. “The break lights would be right in his face.

Jimmy tapped the break a few times but the truck didn’t slow, it sped up. Jimmy pushed me away from his side. His voice tense.

“Rain, buckle your seatbelt.”

I did what he said and looked back out the rear window blood rushing in my veins.

“What’s going on?”

Jimmy shook his head.

“Nothing, I hope.”

But it wasn’t nothing.

The truck sped up abruptly, and I screamed as it rammed into the back of the SUV. Jimmy grit his teeth fighting to keep the SUV straight on the tiny dirt road.

“Jimmy!”

The truck hit us again, and we veered off the road and skid against the wall of rocks on my side. Sparks flashed against the window and the tearing metal screeched in protest as Jimmy pulled us back onto the road.

“Hold on!”

Jimmy pushed the SUV as fast as it would go on the dirt road, and we careened wildly over holes and rocks. My mouth snapped shut and I tasted blood. I grit my teeth and braced myself against the dashboard.

“He’s speeding up again,” I panted. “Pull off the road.”

“Were on the drop-off road,” Jimmy shouted.

I whipped around, looked out of my window, and saw the sheer drop off. The road skated along the edge of a deep ravine. The truck hit us again and the contents of my purse flew through the SUV landing on the seat and my lap. I felt my side of the SUV dip sharply and I screamed and reached out for Jimmy. He yanked the steering wheel to the left and a growl escaped his lips as he strained to keep us from going over the edge.

The truck hit us again. This time the spinning wheels of the SUV ruptured against the jagged edge of the blacktop and sent us flying across the road toward the ravine again. A scream ripped out of my chest, and I saw Jimmy reach for me when the truck hit us at an angle. We went up and over the edge. Everything flew against the side windows. My stomach flopped, and we were in the air upside down, tumbling down the ravine.

Pain seared through my neck and shoulder as I whipped forward, up, and out of my seat and then against the door again as we rolled. The windows burst and spidered and rocks and grass from the outside flew around the cab of the SUV. I heard Jimmy yell for me, but I crashed against side of the door again. Bright lights flashed behind my eyes as my head slammed into the side window.

We cart wheeled crazily down the ravine over and over until we hit the bottom with a final bone-jarring crash. Everything went still. We were tilted over on my side of the SUV. Jimmy’s body hung suspended over my left side. The blinking blue light from the clock flashed across his features. His eyes were closed and blood streaked across his forehead.

Stunned, I grit my teeth and waited for the pain to hit. I counted one, two, and then the wave of pain rushed over me. My stomach and shoulder screamed under the restraint of the seatbelt. I was lying against passenger side window and I writhed and moaned and tried to get away from the hurt. Finally, slowly, I found that I could control my breathing and push through the throbbing in my head. I opened my eyes. Jimmy didn’t move and my heart skipped in my throat.

“Jimmy!” I shouted and pulled on his dangling arm. “Jimmy please wake up!”



That's it for my Terror Tuesday scene...I'm gonna go and kiss the solid ground outside. If you liked the scene, take a moment to read the other great entries at Mary McDonald Has The Write Stuff.

Until next time...Go Write!

Photograph by Pati's Moment in Time.

12 comments:

Theresa Milstein said...

That was terrorizing.

How brave of you to write what you experienced. It makes it more authentic, but it's hard to relive a painful, scary experience.

Janet Johnson said...

Very brave! I've been fortunate to have not been in a serious car accident (knock on wood!). But it's still a scary thought.

Great writing!

Delia said...

Aaaahhhh! And people yelled at me for leaving a cliff-hanger! Very nicely done.

LR said...

You did a really good job showing an accident, which is not easy to do. I liked the "rocks and grass." Made it real.

Cheree said...

Oh, great scene. You did a great job of making this feel real.

Mary McDonald said...

That was intense. It reminded me of that movie "Duel" I think it was called. It was Steven Spielberg's first movie directing and the whole movie was this evil man in a truck chasing a car just like this. That is one of the scariest movies ever and your story is just as scary. Whew!

Beth said...

That was VERY intense and definitely felt real and scary! I found myself tensing up, holding my breath and leaning towards the computer as I read. And I was sad when it ended. Not because it was a bad ending but because I wanted to read more!

sarahjayne smythe said...

Great job writing what must have been a very difficult scene for you. Kudos. :)

Erin Kane Spock said...

I have the urge to kiss the ground as well. :) That scene does make you thankful to not be in a moving vehicle.

Dinah Menil said...

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Lola Sharp said...

Eww...his dangling arm!
That is a cliff-hanging ending you left us dangling from. :)

Thanks for sharing what I know was hard for you to write.

~Lola

Roland D. Yeomans said...

That was a horrific scene (in the best sense of the word.) And that you were able to write it so well after your terrible car accident speaks well of your bravery and talent.

Snakes are my kryptonite. Brrrr. Have a beautiful weekend, Roland