Tuesday, May 26, 2015

With Heaviness in My Heart

Those of you who know me personally, are aware that I lost my mother this week. She went in her slumber which is the most mercy I could have hoped for. 

For months, I had been traveling to my parents house to help my father care for her as she was in hospice at home. It was both hard and extremely helpful in helping me to say goodbye to the most dynamic and amazing woman I've ever known. 

We talked and grew closer during those difficult days. I shared with her my imaginary worlds in the books I was writing. And she cheered me on, as she always had, to do what I love.

Now as I struggle to help my father and brothers cope with the enormous loss of such a light in our lives, I hope to scrape together some semblance of continuity or routine in my own life.

I am striving to write despite the whirlwind of emotions I seem to be fighting to corral. As it always has been, my imagination is a welcome escape from what ails.

I wanted to say thank you to those who sent me messages and cards and just helped me feel like I wasn't alone in this. You are so wonderful!


Roland D. Yeomans said...

No words can comfort you right now. Memories are blistering to your heart at this moment. Slowly they will begin to become healing. A broken leg does not heal quickly ... in fact it sometimes seems as if it never will. How much more so a broken heart. But they both eventually heal ... eventually.

I attended my own dying mother for months as you did. A chance to slowly say "Thank You" and "Until We Meet Again" is a rare gift that many children do not get.

You will daily be in my prayers and thoughts, Roland

Arlee Bird said...

My condolences to you, Raquel. I lost my mother this past November and there hasn't been a day pass when I don't think of her.

Now you have your great memories to reflect on and her spirit to carry you on through the future. She was obviously proud of you and supportive of what you do so that's a big plus. She was a big blessing in your life. You and your family will carry on. Take the time needed to mourn, but don't forget to rejoice as well. You've got a great life ahead of you!

Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out

Raquel Byrnes said...

Roland - That was lovely. Thank you for your kind words and prayers. :)

Arlee- I am so sorry to hear about your mother. You are so right about rejoicing and remembering the good. Thank you so much. :)

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I wish I was a good enough writer to know the words that would make it easier for you. It's wonderful that you had such a close relationship with your mother. She's sounds like she was a special woman.

Raquel Byrnes said...

Susan - She was indeed an amazing lady. Thank for your thoughtful comment. I appreciate you stopping by. :)